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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in steven's LiveJournal:

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    Monday, January 12th, 2004
    1:59 am
    this journal is dead -- settleforthis is my new user name ... add me to your friends list please.
    Sunday, January 11th, 2004
    12:33 am
    steven stop reading this. i have a new one -- its called livejournal.com/users/settleforthis

    the rest of you -- from now on this will be the only thing you read. is that understood? good.
    Saturday, January 10th, 2004
    2:03 am
    yes i do think you are a sellout. and even if i believed you would hang out with me i wouldnt want to because although you may be the most devoted girlfriend you have got to be the crappiest friend ive ever heard about. but this is just me trying to be mean. i like to be an asshole sometimes.


    as far as everything else goes... im kinda anxious to start school -- i just wish school was here.
    Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
    4:13 pm
    it's time i stopped tiptoeing around things for you. if that means the end of a friendship then so be it. trust me i hope it doesnt mean that, but its wrong for me to act the way i have by not saying what i think and by letting things go.
    Monday, January 5th, 2004
    4:19 pm
    i have a picture now. heh.
    Sunday, December 28th, 2003
    5:01 pm
    i really wish st louis and here werent so seperate -- just so i felt like life was fucking connected somehow and not two seperate things or something.
    3:23 am
    ok i had fun with geoff and jake and ben last night... it was cool.

    im tired.
    leslie and lindsey... you all rock.
    Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
    7:58 pm
    1) Using band names, spell out your name.:
    Skycamefalling
    Tora tora torrence
    Every time i die
    Van Halen?
    Earth Crisis
    No use for a name
     
    Pg. 99
    Alkaline trio
    U2  (sucks)
    Lavigne, Avril
     
    Bled, The
    Rx Bandits
    Impossibles
    End of all
    Marc with a c   (hehehe)

    2) Have you ever had a song written about you?: not to my knowledge

    3) What song makes you cry?: "You Will" by Bright Eyes but there are many more

    4) What song makes you happy?: umm that postal service song i dont know the name - you know the one that has "come down now"

    5) What do you like to listen to before bed?: joshua fit for battle

    6) Name a song by Coal Chamber: FUCK coal chamber

    7) Who was/were your idol/s when you were younger?: oh man this is embarassing -- nofx -- green day maybe

    8) First album you ever bought?: NOFX so long and thanks for all the shoes and Blink 182 dude ranch at the same time 
    Monday, December 22nd, 2003
    2:30 pm
    i took this seriously.



    01) What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?


    i moved away. i missed my friends.

    02) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more? new years resolutions never work.

    03) Did anyone close to you give birth?
    My Aunt.

    04) Did anyone close to you die?
    No.

    05) What countries did you visit?
    None.

    06) What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
    patience

    07) What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

    August 8 -- trip to mississippi with geoff drew jacob and scott
    August 16th (jacob i really liked your answers to all these questions) Marc died.

    08) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
    moving away

    09) What was your biggest failure?
    i think there were more failures to count -- i consider my most recent relationship a failure.

    10) Did you suffer illness or injury?
    i cried a lot

    11) What was the best thing you bought?
    video camera

    [edit: where did 12 & 13 go?] never never land

    14) Where did most of your money go?
    video camera -- food

    15) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    moving away -- last show

    16) What song will always remind you of 2003?
    plenty:

    I Hate Myself -- all of them.

    Atreyu- Lip Gloss and Black.

    Bright Eyes- you will, nothing gets crossed out.

    modest mouse -- trailor trash


    17) Compared to this time last year, are you:
    happier or sadder – happier now.
    older or wiser – both.
    thinner or fatter? – thinner.
    richer or poorer? – poorer.

    18) What do you wish you'd done more of?
    be nice

    19) What do you wish you'd done less of?.
    thinking about myself

    20) How will you be spending Christmas?
    killing

    22) Did you fall in love in 2003?
    love is for assholes.

    23) How many one-night stands?
    none

    24) What was your favorite TV program?
    i hate TV. but if i had to pick the two television shows that i believe benefit our society the most they would be the simpsons and jackass

    25) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    yes

    26) What was the best book you read?
    1984.

    27) What was your greatest musical discovery?
    you have to say goodbye.

    28) What did you want and get?
    fuck this question

    29) What did you want and not get?
    this one too.

    30) What was your favorite film of this year?
    28 days later

    31). What did you do on your birthday?
    i cant remember

    32) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    never to have met you. not because i didnt enjoy time with you... because you didnt enjoy it.

    33) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
    begining -- "I wanna be different" middle -- "yes! fashioncore!!" end -- "i wanna steal - wait, yes!! fashioncore!!!"

    34) What kept you sane?
    bright eyes. Marc (geoff jacob drew and adam). Scott. I Hate Myself.

    35) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    fuck that.

    36) What political issue stirred you the most?
    its hard for me to get upset about politics -- i guess the war would be the biggest thing though.

    37) Who did you miss?
    geoff jacob scott drew adam. you.

    38) Who was the best new person you met?
    steven.

    39) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
    not everything you think is good actually is.

    40) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    so when im lost in a crowd, i hope that youll pick me out.

    Current Mood: sad
    Thursday, December 18th, 2003
    6:34 pm
    yay.

    01. I like Modest Mouse.
    02. I listen to my heart more than my head.

    03. forever and a day might as well be tomorrow, if you ask me.                                              04. I like to sleep on Sunday mornings, and i do.
    05. I do bite my nails.
    06. I have a crush on Geoff Ward.
    07. My self-esteem is the same as Christopher Reeves's was the moment after he hit the ground. haha, he cant walk.
    08. I also hate people who TypE LyKe DIs.
    09. I love getting LJ comments, text messages, etc. Petty, maybe, but it makes me happy
    10. I have CDs I haven't listened to.
    11. I stopped trying to change things when I was 10 because I realized resistance is futile, then disproved myself a month or two ago.
    12. Music is a huge part of my life, and I wish I could make it.
    13. I heart children.
    14. I know a little.
    15. I will never know enough.
    16. I can't read people.
    17. I sometimes have nightmares.
    18. I am thankful for my learning experiences, even if some of them broke me down into little pieces.
    19. I love knowing more than an adult when they think I don't.
    20. The world would be a better place if post birth abortions were legal.
    21. I know in the first five minutes of meeting someone whether or not I'll ever I want to kiss them. <3
    22. I hate stupid questions.
    23. I'm vain, and I seldom like the way you look.
    24. I hate it when opinions are formed based on one act.
    25. My friends are stupid if they ever come to me for advice.
    26. I make a lot of bad decisions and usually have absolutely no clue that im doing it.
    27. I like most people upon meeting them.
    28. My back hurts.

    29. If someone would let me, I'd try to give them everything.
    30. i hate couples who show their affection in extreme amounts in public. and i wish i had never done that                                                                                                                               31. I hate violence.
    32. Sometimes I do things even though I know they'll hurt me terribly.
    33. I feel like being close to everyone right now.
    34. I like video games.
    35. I work out so much i must be stronger than everyone... and i am lying.
    36. I love to surprise people and make them happy.
    37. I can be a real dickhead.
    38. I hate gossip
    .
    39. I think zodiac signs are dumb.
    40. I've never cut myself on purpose.
    41. I'm shorter than my dad but i dont know anyone shorter than my younger brother.
    42. I like hats.
    43. I like looking at pictures of myself that should be embarrasing but instead are testimony to how much I've changed.
    44. I hand out trust like candy on Halloween.
    45. I like bowling.

    46. I am self-conscious.
    47. I've made a collage in my life.
    48. I don't keep many pictures of my friends.
    49. I don’t have nearly as many clothes as I would like.

    50. I like playing fuck-up. thats where you fuck everything up. its not a good thing. people hate you.
    51. I have cried for a few months.
    52. i think pop culture is seriously fucked up.
    53. I like meeting people then never talking to them again.
    54. I'm confident that the world is going to end before anything good happens to me again.
    55. I use my cell phone too much.
    56. I don't know how to knit, but David Falati can sew.
    57. I want to live in a box
    .
    58. i love my friends                                                                                                               60. I'm not going to live in Jamaica one day.
    61. The aquarium fucking rocks.

    62. I have a job.
    63. I procrastinate, just like every other human being.

    64. I miss you.
    65. I like my hair color.
    66. I have a crush on a girl who lives 2 hundred miles away from my school and about 500 miles away from my home and i met her at a show. <3
    67. Skinny-dipping sounds like fun. Skinny dipping party at my house, anyone? We don't even need to go swimming...
    68. I haven’t had a trumpet lesson in ever.
    69. I love you.
    70. I've seen at least six shooting stars.
    71. Jacobs answer did not make any sense because he forgot a word but i dont think i had that in common with him.
    72. I do not want to be a lawyer.
    73. I want to be disgustingly poor and dirty.
    74. I need to gain weight.
    75. I love my friends.
    76. I think puppies are cute
    .
    77. Sleep is a waste of time.
    78. I can be somewhat immature.
    79. I love Adobe Photoshop, but I don't know how to use it.
    80. I think therefore i am.
    81. I love Outkast.
    82. I like getting christmas presents.
    83. I like ska, and I always will.
    84. I've never done yoga.
    85. I love arguing with people and not taking any of it seriously.

    86. I hate my grammar school.
    87. I think a lot of people are very, very stupid.

    88. I wish i owned a car.
    89. I like the impossibles and.  no, thats it.
    90. I spend too much time in ST. FUCKING LOUIS.
    91. I've made a lot of mistakes.
    92. I really love my parents.
    93. I love it when people hit on me.
    94. I admit that I'm selfish.
    95. I wish could repeat days like in groundhog day but have control over how many times and what days i repeat.
    96. I am annoyed by people who change their opinion to match yours.
    97. I hate racism.
    98. I am 18.
    99. i like captain planet. no, i dont.
    100. I don’t know that people know me as well as they think they do, or if they know me at all.

    6:29 pm
    i just met the most beautiful girl i have ever seen. she lives in southern illinois -- 2hours away. the world is shit.
    Monday, December 15th, 2003
    2:42 pm
    "you said this song was lame, well so is your face
    you said this song could be better, well so could youre face"

    i love this band... i cant remember their name but they are from bumfucked tennessee (thats the capitol).
    Sunday, December 7th, 2003
    6:28 pm
    DAMN THE MAN SAVE THE EMPIRE!
    1:04 am
    dude its jobs...first we get jobs, then we get the kahkis, then we get the chicks.
    Thursday, December 4th, 2003
    6:51 pm
    i made a new journal just for people im angry with. i may post the name later. perhaps some people know.
    Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
    9:55 pm
    last time]
    Really Smiled : smiling requires oh so much effort

    Laughed : even worse

    Cried : big girls dont cry

    Bought Something : photo paper

    Danced : from this we escape show

    Were sarcastic : uh never!

    Watched your favorite movie : i dont have a favorite movie

    had a nightmare : too long ago

    were lulled to sleep by the thought of someone : fuck that

    Last book you read : diary

    Last song you heard: "with stolen wings and evil ways, straight south with the keys to the pearly gates"

    Last thing you had to drink : water

    Last time you showered : ummm well my 2d project was due last tuesday, soo...

    Last thing you ate : hamburger

    [ Fashion ]

    1. Do you wear a watch : no

    2. How many coats and jackets do you own : 3

    4. Most expensive item of clothing : i dont know i havent paid a cent for clothes since last year.

    5. What kind of shoes do you wear : Chucks
    [ Friends ]

    1. Do your friends 'know' you : five of them do

    2. What do they tend to be like : im not a loser geoff.

    3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked : are there traits in you that are universally liked (its hard to type in a mocking voice)

    4. are there people that you tell everything to: yippeekaye motherfucker

    [ Other ]

    1. Favorite band ever: umm alk trio, bright eyes, deseparecidos, impossibles

    2. Most listened to bands : alk trio, impossibles, right now reel big fish

    3. Do you find any musicians good-looking : Oh yeah. Definitly. For example, Geoff!
    4. Can you play an instrument : is the president from arkansas!!?
    5. Type of music listened to : country motherfucker

    6. Type never listened to : ive listened to both country and western.

    [ Religion ]

    1. Do you detest religion : no

    3. If you currently follow a religion, do you think people who
    belong to another religion are ignorant: nope


    [ Homosexuality ]
    1. What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or
    lesbians holding hands : do you know how many germs are transmitted on our hands!!??
    2. Do you agree or disagree with gay or lesbian couples adopting
    children: i disagree with children.

    [ General Questions ]

    1. Whom do you believe is the smartest man alive at the moment: elvis

    2. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day : warm

    3. Do you consider yourself lucky : i dont believe in luck

    4. Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide: suicide isucide ciduies...yes

    5. Choose one word to describe how you feel most often: nonconglomerational...is that a word?

    [ Stuff ]

    1. Do you own any plaid clothing: les i yove claid plothing
    2. Do you own Converse shoes : yes
    3. Do you own Saucony shoes : no.
    4. Do you own old school Nike shoes: no
    5. Do you wear tight pants : i need to study art history
    6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants: fuck you
    7. Do you own a messenger bag : yes
    8. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest : when i have it
    9. Do you own braces: do i own braces? umm no
    10. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth: no
    11. Do you have short, shaggy hair : ok so you take a coffee stirrer...
    12. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches : hmm maybe if i stand it up
    13. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon : hmm no
    14. Do you think mohawks are "neat": pot scoop
    15. Is your hair black or red : black... its hip dont you know that?
    16. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye : cheap cheap
    17. Do you own a bandana : one of every color
    18. Do you wear plugs in your ears : nope
    19. Are you amused by safety pins : maybe if they sang and danced
    20. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute: who hasnt.
    21. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them : nope not anymore

    22. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from Dogpile, Lip
    Service, or Tiger of London : umm what?
    23. Do you enjoy leopard print: only on leopards

    25. Are you disgruntled (having a general hate for everything): yes i hate the world dammit

    26. Are you an anarchist: at least im not a spineless liberal
    27. Does the American flag anger you : umm no its just cloth
    28. Are you "working class": i hate work
    29. Do you dislike "preps": like college prep?
    30. Do you dislike Hot Topic: dude geoff wants to get a job there
    31. Do you smoke cigarettes: aaah cancer cancer everyone look cancer. no
    32. Do you smoke cloves: im looking over a four leaf clover that ive overlooked before.
    33. Are you a thin waif: waif = wa if =wha if = what if
    34. Are you vegan/vegetarian: yeah for like a week.

    35. Do you think meat is murder: do you think murder is meat? thats what i thought. see? it doesnt grow on trees, its from murder.
    36. Do your nighttime activites usually involve drunken underage vomiting: no

    37. Have you ever slept in an alley or park: haha yes
    38. Do you wash your hair less than once a week: who washes anything that much?
    39. Have you ever gone a week without a shower: umm is it supposed to be a regular thing?
    40. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor: when im avoided its because people have other things to do like wash their hair etc. not because of odor.
    44. Do you say "rad": rad. dad. clad. had. lad. grad. brad. mad. fad. no.
    Monday, December 1st, 2003
    1:20 pm
    Saturday, November 29th, 2003
    3:51 am
    like a puzzle
    i miss the one in the art gallery who only speaks spanish even though she knows english.
    3:43 am
    i got an idea lets whisper across the table so that none of the people who are visiting can hear us. thatll be fun.

    im not the same person and it seems as though youre not either but i think you are. i just never knew who you really were or i ignored it. i think if i had known things would be a lot different. the first thing was untrue but im pretty sure i dont give a fuck anymore. it just took a night with my friends and you in the same room again to give me that idea.
    Friday, November 28th, 2003
    2:21 am
    look at my last post
    step one: slit my throat.
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